She Used to Know :: Admitting and Omitting Failure

She used to know who she was.
Sometimes she used to think she knew who she was.
And sometimes she used to dream of what she might be when she could still plan who she would become.
But now, when would she know?

The other night I laughed and my roommate asked just what was I on?
I answered "I finally gave up."

I finally gave up thinking I knew
Thinking I knew the path my life was to take
Thinking there was a plan I had to follow

I finally gave up control
Inch by inch releasing the hold I had on the noose securing me in this life
tieing me down and staying my course

I finally gave up worrying
What if? And how?
Now, I just don't know

I finally gave up
I finally let myself just fail, falter, and fall
Then decide to pick it up again, rearrange, and change

I finally gave up the answers
The right ones had become wrong
The test, the exam, the trial - no more - just life

I finally gave up the fight
Fighting me, arguing I, struggling against myself
Burn it all up - let resurrection begin

I finally gave up
I just gave it up
Staring at the foolishness of it all

I laughed.